Ok. I've decided that I have a HUGE problem and it's getting progressively worse... (unfortunately, writing this here isn't helping the situation, but documenting's fun!)

I'm a procrastinator.  A HUGE procrastinator.  It's soOo bad... Like I'm getting to the point where I don't complete most of my homework because I have other non-important stuff to do that is more fun to do! I'm staying up really late at night (2-3am usually) and setting my alarm early (5am) so I have time to wake up, get ready, eat and do my left over homework by my 8am class. I've always known that I procrastinate a lot, and I do suffer lots of negative consiquences of my own actions.  I feel like I can't make my self do anything.  I always find something else to do even so I don't have to start/finish my homework.  No joke. It's really bad! For instance, I'll go to extreemes like checking my e-mail more than once in 5 min.  The worse part is that I know exactly what I'm doing... I know what I'm supposed to be doing, and I know the consequences of not doing it, but yet, it doesn't seem like enough of an incentive (?) I want good grades, but I don't want to work for them (?) Does this make any sence? 

I had a breakdown today in piano lessons.  She asked me to play my scales when I sat down, and so I did... but it was wrong, and I couldn't seem to do it right to save my life.  I haven't praticed them for so long, that I had problems with C Major!! Argh.  It was baaaad.  Then she asked me to play D Major (the second easiest scale) and again, I couldn't do it.  I had only practiced once the week before... and obviously it wasn't my scales.  I got so frusterated! I know I can do this! I know that I know how to manage my time better than this! I know I can get things accomplished and actually do them well insead of half-ass.  I started crying.  I admited that I had only practiced once that week, and that I have procrastination issues.  I also admitted for the first time that I am overloaded with classes.  I've taken on more than the typical student.  But I know I can handle it! I made up my day to day schedule on Excel and saw all the time (hours!!) I have during the day to do something productive instead of checking my e-mail accounts, my facebook profile or just chatting with friends (not in person, mind you. On the computer! Sometimes, I even chat with my neighbor accross the hall on-line! It's horrible!)  Back to the Excel thing, so I've decided that I need to assign my open spaces with homework for a specific class, otherwise I'll spend the whole time looking though all the homework trying to decide what I'll actually be able to get done in that amount of time while getting depressed that it will again be a night in because I need to sit at my desk staring at my not-done homework.  I've even put in there set breaks and when I'm going to eat lunch and supper.  I can't believe that I need everything to be this structured... but apparently I do.  I hope it works.

*pray*

It HAS to work.

~*~Quotes of the Day~*~
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
            -- Steven Wright

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
            -- H. P. Lovecraft, "The Call of Cthulhu", first line

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.
            -- Edith Sitwell

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.
            -- Lord Acton, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1881

~*~Word of the Day~*~
   deliquesce \del-ih-KWES\, intransitive verb:
   1. To melt away or to disappear as if by melting.
   2.  (Chemistry)  To  dissolve  gradually  and become liquid by
   attracting  and  absorbing  moisture  from the air, as certain
   salts, acids, and alkalies.
   3. To become fluid or soft with age, as certain fungi.
   4. To form many small divisions or branches -- used especially
   of the veins of a leaf.

*whew*