It's not all me. It's not all my fault. I may remind you, but I won't take it all on.

Found out Friday, April 4th @ 8:30am in a phone call from my dad that my parents had a significant argument and were talking about divorce.   I skipped my 9am test, and  work that morning so that I could go home and save my sisters from life for a little while and because I was in no state to think clearly.   Turns out my efforts were somewhat in vain because I could not take them back to school with me for the weekend because they had commitments to attend to, however, I was able to take them after school Friday through Saturday afternoon.  They didn't want to stay home, and it pained me to leave them to their misery. 

I found out that my mother has had divorce papers in hand for 9 months. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since it's not like this is the first time that this topic has came up because I'm pretty sure I heard it thrown about for the past 10 years.  I even thought that I wasn't the worst idea, but I'm so scared for what is going to happen to my sisters.  I'm out of the house and in college, and my sisters are currently both in middle school; one just started, and the other is done with it this year.  I don't want them to have to deal with the whole visitation hours thing.  I hate that I can't be there with them all the time to help them deal with what is going to happen.  I want to steal them away to live with me so they don't have to listen to the constant fighting anymore.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know anybody that has been close to me go through a divorce, and if they have, it was when they were younger. 

I'm too sad and disappointed to share all the details I want to share.  I don't know how to express everything I'm feeling.  I'm still in sort of a denial.  It's still up in there air if they'll actually go through with the divorce... it's just a matter of time. 

I hate this.

Worst blog ever.